About Rowan’s Diary – by Elana

Rowan is an eighteen year-old girl, who goes to a magical college. There, unfortunately she had a tragic magical accident and now she has forgotten everything about her past. Yes, you’re quite right: she lost her memory. She remembers nothing: not the accident, not who her parents are, not who she is, not the college or what she had for breakfast that fateful morning. Now she lies in the college sanatorium and she keeps a diary.

Obviously, Rowan is confused, insecure and, understandably, neurotic. She records all these feelings and experiences as she is forced to rebuild the puzzle of her life, piece by piece – in an uncertain world, with an uncertain future and a liquid past.

Oh, yes. It makes the most sense if you go to the beginning to start reading. Check the archives. The first diary entry was called 07/06.

01/01

… AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I truly mean that. I believe that this year will be better than the last. I will keep clinging to the sprig of hope that brainy brain-doctor left me: that I will be healed.

This year WILL BE better than the last, for the plain and simple reason that it really cannot get worse. I will make this THE year of my life.

I won’t make New Year’s Resolutions – one doesn’t keep to them, and they’re cheap and plastic anyway. But I do make a choice to make this a golden year. No matter what happens: it will all be positive, because I choose to make it so.

 

 

Rowan

25/12

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

The sun is shining, pink wildflowers are in bloom in the field behind the cottage and … WHAT A PARTY!

Everybody is here today: Sarah, James, Marianna and Michelot. And their parents. Oh, and also some apparent aunts and uncles of mine. Not that I can say I’ve ever seen them before in my life, but what I think probably doesn’t count, I guess!

My friends were all at the college for a year-end function and now they’re stopping by here, and now we’re all going to have Christmas dinner together!

 

I’m lying outside on the grass writing this, and for some strange reason I feel different today. The weather is lovely, clear and warm, but it isn’t that. For the last six months I have felt as if there were a gaping hole somewhere inside me – sometimes it felt as if it was in my mind, sometimes it felt as if it was in my soul – but it was still there. Today I feel as though it has been filled again.

I know it sounds weird, but I feel… healed.

15/12

The college sent on my stuff today. It basically consists of just stuff.

Some overalls… cookery equipment… stuff… some stationeries… ordinary clothes… formal black and blue robes for functions… more stuff… and so it goes on.

I was just glad to see there was not a melted lump of little black pot in the heap – I was really nervous that they would have considerately have packed in the remnants of my accident. Don’t know why I feel this way.

06/12

Hi-ai…

Today it has been six months since my accident. I can’t believe that it is already so long that I have been living with this hole in my mind.

Could I ever have guessed how much would change that morning that I walked into the greenhouses to complete the potion for my assignment…?

05/12

Well, according to Sarah, on the day of my accident, I was in the greenhouses. I was preparing to do a ritual for the dark moon with purple-spotted webwing leaves. I had drawn the runes on the workbench around the pot. Then I chanted the incantation over the leaves. Afterwards I picked one of the leaves and threw it into my small black pot which I held ready for this purpose in my left hand. Apparently the potion for the dark moon ceremony was in the pot and it only needed the final ingredient – the specially prepared webwing leaf.

Sarah says she was sitting on a stool at the other side of the greenhouse, waiting for me to finish my potion so that she could do hers. She says she couldn’t see if there was anything wrong with the webwing, or if I had done the runes wrong. She wasn’t allowed to see anyway – it was an assignment after all. But when I threw the leaf into the potion, my little black three-legged pot exploded.

Sarah says the blast must have hit me full on. It was such a big explosion that she, at the other side of the greenhouse, was just missed.

But what I still don’t understand is why the potion exploded in the first place. Would I have been given a faulty or sick plant for my assignment?

And WHY do I suddenly have this weird magical reaction when I come into contact when rituals? Is it triggered by the magic that hit me and injured me?

03/12

So, yeah…

Sarah and I did have that picnic today. And… I asked her to tell me what happened that day I had my accident. I don’t know why I never asked this before. But Sarah was there that morning, so she saw everything, she says. Stuff doesn’t make sense to me.

30/11

My friends’ exams are finally finished!

So… that means that Sarah could come stay with us for two days! Her parents are out of the country and can only fetch her later. I’m excited!

Maybe we could have a picnic or something. Then I can get to know her better.

Gotta go!

20/11

Well, nothing much has happened for ages now. My friends are busy with their final exams, so they haven’t really got time for me. They are all racing from here to there and back again like crazy things. I guess I’m pretty sulky about it, but at least it’ll be holidays once they are done and then we can all get together again.

I’m quite excited about the summer holidays, actually! My parents hinted that maybe we could go on a trip for a few days and that I could invite my friends along. If that happens, it would be great!

07/11

Well, hi…

So, I’m still not sure what happened at that Hallowe’en Ceremony. I’ve been thinking about it for a week now, but no luck.

All that I could puzzle out that maybe it was an allergic reaction. But why would I be allergic to magic? If I went to a magical college, surely I didn’t get these stuff every single day? So why now, then?

(noisy sighing) I guess I’ll just have to wait until it happens again, if ever, to find out more. I just hope there isn’t anything seriously wrong with me.

04/11

Hi…

Some really strange stuff happened during that Hallowe’en Ceremony. There was a lot of reading out of mystical texts and then we sang some. After that, some of the people – including my friends – started weaving a spell. They chanted and paced, and that just made me feel really weird. It felt as though my head was heating up, it felt as if blood was bubbling in my brain! There was also such little bright sparks dancing behind my eyes. I turned and walked away from the weaving of the spell and then I felt fine again. I don’t think anybody there noticed it.

I can’t write any more now, I need to think about what happened…